Last Friday, I became overwhelmed with anxiety and could not maintain my focus. I began breaking down. I felt less than human. I was done.

Then I began to feel feverish, out of place and emotionally-spiraling out of control. I stopped believing. The dream was over.

Mentally, I have been emotional before but I’ve always remained strong. Thankful for my past, it takes a lot to be broken. A lot has happened.

Writing about this may not be the best thing, but I only write this so that future me can remember where we came from. I hope you are enjoying the future. Please share any good details in the comments.

The fever climbed to 101F. So I canceled the weekend and got tested for covid-19. Five days later I received a message saying “F SARS CoV 2 RNA NOT DETECTED”. Needless to say, I was relieved.

But the damage had already been done.

Weeks of declining sales and mounting pressures to continually pivot and reassess my business have finally taken its toll. For I am not alone nor young nor dumb. I know when it’s time to say stop.

I’ve gotten quite good at failure in recent years and making people sad. Yes it sucks. I’m sorry. I’m just not cut out for this anymore. I don’t want to be the best. Just better.

From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for your support. You have given me a reason to keep trying my best. But there is a lot more than just what we see here now–lost business, a failed sale, an inadvertent promise, a false hope. There is always a deeper meaning.

Retail ramen kits were an immense joy, full of stimulating challenges and creative hurdles. But they were not the soul-saving answer to my impending doom. They were a means to pass time and feed the hungry. With great sadness, I have decided to quit the retail ramen kit game. So for now, there will be no more. Once again, I thank you for being there for me. Once again, I truly am sorry.

Off to the future.

The pandemic

It is now September. In the year 2020. How did we get here? Or more like how did we make it here? Five months. 5 months. Since it all began.

I’ve tried to stay optimistic, but yeah this isn’t my 20’s nor my 30’s anymore. A lot is at stake. A lot is at bay. A lot is in fray. A lot is just…


I strive for balance. Not only in ramen but also in life. It is what allows me to take the steps I need to take. The path I need to pave. The barriers I need to break.

But for five months, 5 months, the balance has been at tilt. A pin without a ball.

It is difficult to make decisions when you cannot foresee the future. Or more-so when you see a future that you cannot wish to foresee.

Is this how it’s going to be? Been on the run. Chasing my heart. Watching it break in front of me?

Help is just a helping hand away. Perhaps another five months. 5 months. For help to be my hand.

Hang in there. Don’t give up. Don’t hang there. Give it up.

This float is ours to boat.